We’re all very good at discussing how social media is making us better. Better relationships, better communication, better chances at serendipity, better access to information. Its more rare to hear about ways that social media and its associated tools are making us worse. What follows is a case study of one.

Today, I realized that social media is making me worse.

… I looked at the clock and realized I was going to be late. The bank closes at 5:00, I told myself. Of course, they do, I responded… Banks always close at the most inconvenient times… I picked up the pace, imagining arriving as the last employees ducked out early, locking the door and leaving me stranded without money to pay my rent. “What a tweet that will be…”.

I arrived and realized that all of my worry had been for naught. The sign on the door proudly indicated extended hours – 9am – 7pm. All of my rushing had been unnecessary, but it had afforded me the luxury of time; I now had two full hours to spare.

As I stood in line, I realized that I was feeling time tick by, precious seconds lost. I’m not that person. I don’t have a quick temper or a tendency to tap toes in anticipation and cross arms in frustration. And yet, tainted by daily exposure to a real-time web, persistent buy now buttons, and an iPhone-induced-ADD, I was awash with impatience.

We all talk about how the web is making us “more human”. Today, I’m questioning that. Here are some ideas about how to remain human in spite of the web:

Give people a chance … and then give them more chances

For all of the talk about social tools revitalizing our appreciation for “humanity”, we seem to write people off faster than ever. I fell for this as I stood in line, wondering what was taking so long. We wanted things to be faster and more perfect, so we invented robots. But with robots, we got automation, call centres and endless touchtone phone menus. Relationships turned grey and cold. Now we want to bring the humans back. But, if we want to deal with humans, we have to remember that part of being human is taking time, and sometimes making mistakes. My new mantra, from this moment onwards is: “Would I rather be dealing with a robot?”. No? Then practice patience.

Twitter is not a weapon. And neither is your blog.

Being understanding and showing empathy will get you farther than a veiled threat of posting your experience to the web ever will. If you have constructive feedback, and you actually want a business to improve, tell another human being. Google’s bots reading about your issues aren’t going to fix anything. We’ve always had a voice. Our newfound ability to publish to the web has simply given our voices a new volume. A whisper in the ear of the right person is often more effective than shouting in a crowd.

Check your check-ins

Yes, geolocation tools like Foursquare and Gowalla present some interesting opportunities and are certainly an entertaining game to play – but don’t risk relationships for mayorships. Fumbling with your phone every 20 meters is not a way to impress your friends (pro-tip: never on a first date. ever). Saving your check-ins for interesting and important places will not only be more respectful to your real-life company, but will also increase the value to your Foursquare followers (who really don’t need to know what your favourite gas station is). Often, the most important people are actually following you. Keeping your phone in your pocket will ensure that you’re not checking out of conversation.

Spread love

When I speak to companies, I’m always disappointed that their first assumption is that people use social media exclusively to discuss negative brand experiences. Everyone is worried about the bad. Let’s change this. Instead of promoting negative experiences, celebrate the good ones. Who gave you great customer service? Who made you smile? Who went the extra mile? Who has a great product or service? Ultimately, positive recommendation is more useful anyways. Hearing a hundred horror stories about companies to avoid simply gives me a warning. Telling me something I *should* do gives me an action I can take.

Treasure the moment

Several weeks ago, I took the best photo I have ever seen. An oriole sat on the rim of a rusted basketball hoop, its orange colouring blazing against a lifeless and weathered, grey backboard, in front of a crystal blue sky. As I lifted my camera to press the shutter, the bird flew away. I noticed that I was disappointed when I should have been amazed. I had missed a photo, but captured a moment. It wasn’t gone, it just wasn’t digital. I don’t have the picture, but I just showed you the scene… funny how that works.

Search engines don’t matter. Just optimize your life.

Life comes in more colours than any photo on Flickr. And those people walking around in front of you represent more characters than you could ever shove into a tweet. In our hurry to categorize, classify and broadcast, its easy to forget that our lives already come with metadata. We call them memories.

The stories you’ll tell on a perfectly still evening, as a warm breeze rustles the leaves of the trees around you and fireflies chase the sunset over the horizon, will serve more value than any blog post or status update you could ever write.

How’s that for return on investment?

Photo credit: Jurvetson

{ 1 comment }